I went to a doctor 42 days ago and went into great lengths about the problems I had before, what I did and didn't want, and my concerns. To my disappointment the doctor just randomly pulled a drug out of thin air and said "How 'bout we try Celexa?" What is Celexa paying for your golf this month? But I decided that I needed them badly enough that I would try them and just see. Adam and I talked in great length and decided I would take them at night before bed in case they made me really sick or worse case scenario - pass out. Adam gave me a blessing that I would be safe that night, then GULP down they went.
Guys. I can't even BEGIN to explain the difference I have seen in the last 42 days. It was seriously like my world has been in black and white but suddenly I see colors. Okay that sounds dramatic but really, it has been such a help. Granted I decided to take them when I was really low and really suicidal so I already am mentally in a better place. But the medicine helped me to have more energy, to be more motivated, and to just feel more optimistic. It has been such a breath of fresh air!
And right in the middle of this new journey with this medication - I had someone reach out to me about past issues with meds and if I thought it was worth it. And what I truly believe is that this is SUCH a personal decision and one that only YOU can make. I had tried other things; putting all my energy into the gospel, essential oils, therapy, you name it. And at times each of these helped more than others, just like now the time was right to try medication again. Maybe the other times weren't right, maybe my body wasn't ready to work on a lot of the issues I now am. Or maybe simply my Audrey was yearning to come down here and it just worked out how it was supposed to. Who knows but bottom line, don't let other people pressure you to take OR not to take medication. It should be your decision.
I am so relieved that it has been working but of course every medication has side effects. The main one that I have noticed is that I suddenly have a case of insomnia. Which makes sense because I take my med at night and it's an upper, or course it's going to make you not as tired. So I have played around with taking it at a different time and I'm fairly certain I feel comfortable enough now to do that.
And I also don't believe that medication is the only answer. For me, I have a lot I need to work on and I lot of things I want to improve about myself. I am going to therapy, still taking essential oils, trying to eat clean and exercise, and also rely on the gospel more. I also personally feel like my dose needs to be a little higher. I went for a follow up with my doctor last week and he said the longer you are on the medication they better you begin to feel. We are going to try the dose I am taking for another month and then possibly add another half or see about adding another drug.
I will give more updates as they come, I believe in being open about pretty much everything - but especially depression and emotional struggles. I hope someone out there can read this and know that this stuff is okay and SHOULD be talked about and you can feel comfortable doing that here or to me.
I am so relieved that it has been working but of course every medication has side effects. The main one that I have noticed is that I suddenly have a case of insomnia. Which makes sense because I take my med at night and it's an upper, or course it's going to make you not as tired. So I have played around with taking it at a different time and I'm fairly certain I feel comfortable enough now to do that.
And I also don't believe that medication is the only answer. For me, I have a lot I need to work on and I lot of things I want to improve about myself. I am going to therapy, still taking essential oils, trying to eat clean and exercise, and also rely on the gospel more. I also personally feel like my dose needs to be a little higher. I went for a follow up with my doctor last week and he said the longer you are on the medication they better you begin to feel. We are going to try the dose I am taking for another month and then possibly add another half or see about adding another drug.
I will give more updates as they come, I believe in being open about pretty much everything - but especially depression and emotional struggles. I hope someone out there can read this and know that this stuff is okay and SHOULD be talked about and you can feel comfortable doing that here or to me.
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