One Month Down

We survived our first month of the new Army/BCT life! I organized some thoughts on how our new life is going.

Everyone always makes jokes about how once you have kids you can never go to the bathroom alone, and I already felt part of the crowd. But what I would give for a private bathroom experience these days. Instead of a two year old trying to look in the toilet and say, "Go poop, Mama? Go pee pee? Good job, Mama! You go potty, Mama! You get sticker and go Chuck E Cheese." It was cute at first I admit. But I would like to leave my bathroom experiences to myself, thank you.

My life literally revolves around a mail box. I promised after Adam's mission I would never let a mail box rule my life again .... never say never, kids. I have moved around my breaks and lunch so that I can drop off my letters at the very last second so they can have as many pages and details as humanly possible in each letter. I can be seen running as fast as my legs can go at about 1:55 PM to drive to drop off my letter. And speaking of my chosen mail box.... here he is:

I named him Larry... as in Larry David for you Seinfeld lovers. Why Larry David? Because he is annoying and a pain in my neck, but also lovable and reliable. Welcome to my sad mind. 

I am usually not one to post or tell people NOT to say things because I personally find it hurtful/offensive... but I have enjoyed people's words of... should we say, encouragement so far? Here's some of my favorites:

"Well you CHOSE this... you didn't HAVE to do this." RIIIIIGHT. 

"You already waited for him for two years, this should be a cake walk!" I get it... I am the first one to make a joke about being the "Waiting Girl". But let me tell you this, I would GLADLY do the mission over 3 times than be a single mom right now. And I would GLADLY do the mission over 10 times instead of having him be deployed. 

"Well now at least you and Audrey can have PLENTY of bonding time." See my first paragraph on the bathroom. But seriously, it is nice definitely to have so much time just me and her. That doesn't mean I want my husband NOT to be here though. 

"You must REALLY be sexually deprived!" This one just made me laugh when it came from the right person. Other people have said it and then followed up with, "You better keep your eye on your man and not wander." Someone honestly said that to me.

"You must be SUPER lonely." Another one where all I could hear after they said that was crickets. 

"At least that gives you six months to lose some weight!" The person said this as cheerfully as sunshine too... so you're telling me I need to lose weight?

I don't go ANYWHERE without my phone. Which yeah, a lot of people could say that - it's the way of life right? But literally I can't even breathe without it, it is ALWAYS by me. And every time I get a call I automatically assume it's him and that I-need-to-get-every-single-thing-I-would-ever-want-to say-to-him-as-fast-as-humanly-possible-so-I-can-survive-another-four-weeks-without-him. Which sends me into a panic, which gets me emotional and I start to tear up... until I realize it's a telemarketer telling me that I could win $10,000... and then I just get really angry. Army Wife Allie sure knows how to get a lot angrier than non-Army wife Allie.

Tears. I cry all the time. People immediately panic and think they shouldn't/can't talk to me and try to run away, but it's usually about the most minor things. Before I would be really ashamed to cry, and only do it if I literally couldn't physically hold it anymore. I don't even care now. I cry freely and about EVERYTHING. You once owned a cat? Sob. You love Diet Coke too? Wail. You broke your leg when you were 9?! Hysterics. But you know what, I am actually really grateful that I now am free to cry as I please. It feels freaking awesome to get it out, even if it makes me a maniac. 

Audrey has absolutely amazed me this past month. People always say "kids know how to bounce back"or "kids are resilient" - and it is absolutely true! She has been so strong and adapted to our new life together so well. We get the mail every day after daycare before we go into our apartment, she helps me do a happy dance on the good days and says "Tomorrow?" on the bad. She loves to put a sticker on our calendar to mark off one more day without daddy, and to rip a chain off after bath time. And my very favorite is every night after her bath and getting ready, we read three books with one always being her Daddy book. I am so happy I made that book for her. It is full of pictures of just her and Daddy and talks about some things that Daddy loves to do with her. She has the entire thing memorized!!! Only a couple nights ago, I had a coughing fit in the middle of reading it to her and instead of waiting she decided to read it herself. She has memorized every phrase exactly as I typed it, then at the end it says Never Forget that Daddy Loves You and she plopped a kiss on the page and says "Wub you, Daddy". This kid. I never knew I could love every stinking thing about someone like I do for Audrey. She is just the perfect kid. I am honored to be her Mommy, and the people who have said that I can get plenty of bonding time with her are absolutely right! So we are making the most of our time just with each other, while trying to always include Adam into everything.

This past month has been hard but it has been so good! We are incredibly blessed to have the people in our lives that we do, and not only family. This past month I have had so many long lost friends reach out to me to just tell me "You're amazing, you know that?" and it has given me so much strength. And I know this isn't the end of the world - believe me. But my biggest goal in life is to help others feel like they aren't alone and that they have someone to talk to. So this might seem silly to some, but I want to document life and all its adventures so other people can have someone to turn to if they are in a similar boat. 

But there you have it! One month down, a few to go! As Audrey would say it, "Daddy come back with Tanta!" So that's TWO things to look forward to this year. :)